I am pleased to report that Greg and I are now parents, have been for nearly 2 years. However, we did not have the enlightening moment that was promised to us by this individual. For that I am thankful, my opinions were well informed and based in logic rather than emotion. I have however experienced a greater understanding of God our how our relationship is to be with him as a result of being a parent. For this enlightenment, I am forever grateful.
The first change that I noticed was that I had a more comprehensive knowledge of unconditional love. It was amazing to me how I could love someone so completely and so instantly. Aiden did not have to do anything other than exist for me to love him. No matter how long the nights and how challenging the days, I loved him fully. I was simply overcome with the amount of love I felt and the amount of emotion I was experiencing. Being a "red" I am naturally not very emotional and had never experienced this much emotion. Of course throughout the Bible God is referred to as our Father. I did not have the opportunity to have my father in the home as I was growing up, and my relationship with my mother was very strained. As a result, I did not have experiential knowledge of what the parent child relationship is supposed to be. During the time that I laid in bed hoping and praying that Aiden would sleep I spent a significant amount of time in prayer and reflection. In these wee hours of the morning, I was blessed to start to comprehend what that relationship can and should be. I realized that no matter what God loved me and that he loved me enough that he made the ultimate sacrifice (one that I hope never to be faced with), of sacrificing his only son in order to save a flawed person like me from the damnation that I deserved.
The second revelation I had occurred as Aiden and I were going shopping one day. As we got out of the car it occurred to me that Aiden trusts me completely. He didn't question where we were going or why, he simply knew that I would keep him safe and that there was a reason for our outing. This made me realize how many times I have questioned God through my life and wondered why. In that moment I realized that I needed to do better about trusting God the way Aiden trusts me and allow God to work, because he has my best interest in mind, as I do for Aiden.
The third thing that I learned came during a mom's group. On this day we watched a DVD sermon by Pastor Dave Stone. He was speaking about his book "Raising Your Kids to Love the Lord". He described his parenting practice of first time obedience. I had not been exposed to this principle prior to this lesson. I have pondered this since this day, and still have mixed feelings about implementing it. However, he went on to say that it is important for us to teach our children to obey the first time we say/request something of them so that later in life they will obey God the first time. It was from this lesson that for the first time in my life I realized the impact that our parenting can have on our children's relationship/understanding of God. I don't know if it had never been explained to me, or I had never been exposed to this concept. But I was shocked that despite being raised in the church that I was just now understanding this principle. This caused me to reflect on how I was raised and how the parenting patterns that were established in my home have continued in my relationship with God. For example, everything was a discussion and debate when I was growing up. Now, as an adult, as I reflect, I have found that I have discussed and debated with God instead of being obedient.
The final major realization that I have had is that just as any parent wishes to reward their children for good behavior, God wants to reward me for obedience. This has caused me to wonder what blessings I have missed out on due to my choosing not to obey the first time God asks something of me. Fortunately, God is a God of grace and forgiveness, and I will be able to improve in my abilities and avoid discussing and debating with God and will be able to live more closely to the life God has intended for me.
I am thankful for the things that I have learned and will learn as a result of being a parent. And while the individual who condemned us prior to becoming parents was shortsighted, I am thankful for their words. Without them, I may not have been as aware of the things I have learned.
Here's to keeping our eyes, ears, and minds open so that we don't miss a learning opportunity.
