While I was sitting in church on Sunday I was thinking about the Casting Crowns' song, "Praise You in This Storm". This caused a flood of thoughts and memories: a friend who had this as their ringtone after surviving the May 22 tornado, the picture we have in our living room with a favorite quote "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, It's about learning to dance in the rain", the various storms we have faced in our life and our attitudes during those storms.

While I was pondering these things, I realized that each and everyone of us face storms in our life. Each storm has a perceived magnitude and significance to the person experiencing it and to those looking in. The storms that each of us face are very real, significant, and unpleasant. However, it is sometimes easy for outsiders to hear about or watch us face a storm and try to "one up" us, or be dismissive of the pain that we are facing. When the reality is that no one has the right to judge another person's storm just because it is different from their own storm.

Yesterday on the radio, I heard a blurb from Renee Swope, at least I'm pretty sure that's who it was, I don't want to mis-credit anyone. She spoke of how when a friend at church asked how she was doing, she unloaded on her. She encouraged people to be honest with each other and to trust one another with our burdens, or storms, in order that we may come along side one another and help lighten the load.

Here's to putting judgement aside and dancing in the rain with one another!

If you could chose your life, what would it look like? Does this align with the person God wants you to be? Could this be your calling?

These are things that I have been asking myself a lot recently. I have been reading the book If You Want to walk on Water You've Got to Get Out of the Boat by John Ortberg. (Which if you are the person who loaned that to us, let me know so I can get you a replacement.) Some of the things that have stood out to me are as follows: 

A calling is something that is discovered not chosen.

We each have been given gifts, talents, longings & desires. We must work to identify these, develop them, and use them to humbly and joyfully serve God. 

What brings you joy? What do you desire & are passionate about? 

I also heard an interview on KLove with Caroline Dowd Higgins, who is a career coach and Brian Ray CEO with Crossroads Career Network. A lot of what they had to say fell in line with the above thoughts from the book. The part that stood out to me in her interview was when one of them said that people need to give themselves permission to change their minds, referring to their career choices.

So, now that I have some disjointed thoughts out, I'll ask again, If you could chose your life, what would it look like?

For me I have determined that I would be a stay at home mom (which is quickly becoming a passion to help others who want this achieve it). 

I would be organized to a "T". I'm pretty organized, but no where near what I want to be. 

Be well dressed (I'll admit that I'm obsessed with the Eddie Bauer catalog.)

I desire to have the ability to give both of my time and financially to charity and missions work.

To be a leader in Women's ministries.

To have the time and money to be able to travel.

Provide a comfortable life for Aiden and any future children.

I have a feeling that somewhere within those lines is my calling. Guess I will have to wait to see where the journey takes me. 

Here's to finding our calling!

I was driving home from a challenge party the other night and I had a revelation. It suddenly occurred to me that I am NOT capable of being the person I want to be and that I need to change my focus to being the person that God wants me to be.

I was struggling several months back with the realization that I didn't have time or energy to be the person I wanted to be. Someone asked me who it was that I wanted to be. In that moment, I realized how completely unattainable my expectations were. I realized that I had taken everything I liked about the people around me and wanted that part of them to be part of me as well. Basically, I wanted to be Martha Stewart in the home and kitchen, dress fashionably and have salon fresh hair and make up daily, have a house that is perfectly tidy every moment, be mom of the year, be an amazing wife, and have the career of my choosing, all while being an active and involved church member...it's exhausting just listing it all! At that time I looked back on the individuals who have served as role models for me as I created this picture of who I wanted to be and I realized that something had to give for them, because no one is capable of doing it all. In that moment I determined that  there were some aspects of my life that could not give: God, my family, and my sanity!

Apparently the mini lesson I learned several months ago was not enough, because I was right back to wanting to do it all and have it all. This time God intervened for me and this seems to be a more effective lesson. So, who does God want me to be. Well, that is a journey that I am currently on. I have determined some aspects of who this person is, but I know he isn't finished revealing this to me just yet. So far, I know that my roles that I need to fulfill are to be a child of God, a wife, mother, and daughter. Through prayer and reading, He has revealed some adjectives that I have been working to define their role in my life and I'm sure that as I continue on this journey, there will be more adjectives that are added. Currently I know that I am to be diligent, flawed, faithful, persistent, humble, and joyful. I had the most amazing feeling of relief when He revealed that I am flawed and that I am created to be flawed. I have spent my life striving for perfection, or as close as I could possibly come, and I have always fallen short of my expectations. The definition of a flaw is an imperfection or weakness. How nice it is to know that my weaknesses are God given. I certainly don't plan on using this as an excuse to play on my weaknesses, however, it's nice to know that I'm meant to have weaknesses.

Psalm 139:14 comes to mind " I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are you works; my soul knows it very well."-ESV

Here's to being the people God wants us to be, flaws and all!

So, one thing that I have found that I often do, is say to myself, "If only John Doe would do____,things could be so much better for them". Typically these thoughts revolve around finances. A person complains that they are struggling financially, yet I can easily see so many areas for savings, cable and expensive toys are the first two that come to mind. Another personal example is of an individual who complained that they were cold and could not afford to buy blankets and that they couldn't afford undergarments. At the time Greg and I received this complaint, we were newly married and were college students struggling to make it, but I couldn't justify not sending this person some blankets and undergarments. We then visited this person a few months later and I was sickened to find that this individual was spending their money on expensive clothes and accessories!

I have been thinking about this for a long time, and I wonder what people think and say to themselves "If only April would do _____ differently, things would be better for her". I wish that we lived in a society that embraced honesty enough that people had the courage to tell their friends, "hey maybe try this" and that it would be well received. If I were smart enough with websites, I would figure out how to receive feedback anonymously in order to receive honest, unfiltered, information. However, I do not possess this knowledge, therefore, it is my challenge to you to provide me with honest feedback and to me to receive this information with an open mind and heart.

Here's to being honest while we keep it real!

Well, I am on a journey! I'm not sure where the path will lead, but I know it won't be disappointing. My journey is one of both physical and spiritual health. I invite you to join me as I endeavor to help others and obtain accountability as I seek to Keep It Real!

I want to start by letting everyone know that I am not a writer, just someone with hopes of helping others by sharing myself. This is something that I have been contemplating for some time. It started with a rant to my friend Brittany in which I expressed concerns with Facebook and the jealousy it cultivates. I love Facebook and keeping in contact with people, however, problems arise because we only post our happy moments, (or our very negative feelings and occurrences) which leads to creating an unrealistic picture of what our lives look like. I believe that as people we need to make an effort to be honest and real with those around us. In my experience anything I have gone through that I felt I could not share with others is totally NORMAL! I just didn't know it because no one was talking about it. When I finally opened up and shared my story, others who had a similar experience felt relief to know they were not alone.

I plan to push myself to share my inner self and offer greater disclosure that I am naturally comfortable with. I won't promise full disclosure...maybe with time. I welcome any questions and feedback. For those of you familiar with the color code I am a red...which means that my natural tendency is to guard my insecurities tightly...so this is a step in my journey to becoming charactered.

Here's to keeping it real!