This year, I joined the leadership of BSF. If you are not familiar with this, it stands for Bible Study Fellowship. This is a great organization that is committed to helping people study the Bible in a way that maintains doctrinal integrity. The great thing about it, is that it is an international and interdenominational study, so you can find one near you! Check out their website for more info! www.bsfinternational.org/about
Making the commitment to be in the leadership was not an easy decision. I had very limited resources of time and energy. But I felt strongly that I was being called into this role. I knew that I needed an opportunity to surround myself with other Christian women to help me encourage me in this journey. It was nice to be among like minded women who were so accepting and supportive. I am able to say that I found a group of Christians where I didn't feel like I was being judged. This was just the environment I needed to grow this year!
Making a commitment to God and the path that he has for you definitely comes with challenges of its own. Speaking honestly, maintaining my commitment was very difficult! In fact, logic would indicate I should have given up. But, I persevered! We studied the book of Revelation, and 1 of the themes that develops early on is, "patient endurance". This was my prayer regularly this year.
I came into the study expecting to gain much factual, historical type knowledge. I was so surprised when I found that I was gaining personal life application lessons, and convictions of things I needed to do differently. But, now that I reflect on this, it is not surprising, when we are studying God's word with and open heart and mind, the lessons he has specifically for us, at that moment in time will jump off of the page. One thing that I have especially appreciated about this, is that over time, lessons I learned earlier in the study, or in my life independent of this study, repeated themselves later and sometimes became relevant in a new way.
Now, that I've shared some of the background, I'll get on with the comforting message I promised in the beginning. The leaders had an opportunity to go to a retreat this year. On the final day we were given the opportunity to have a personal reflection time. We were given some verses to read and then were asked to sit with God and allow him to speak words of love. I thought this is GREAT! I could really stand to be loved on for a little bit. I was feeling so beaten down by life that some love and encouragement was exactly what I needed!
While I sat reflecting, I was reminded of a magnet that I had as a teenager. I have not thought about this magnet in years! It said, "I love you, that life is richer sweeter far, for such the sweetheart that you are. And now my constant prayer will be that God will keep you safe for me."-source unknown. I choose to rephrase that a bit to "I love you, that life is richer sweeter far, for such the person that you are."
The following is the "love letter" if you will that flowed out of me:
Life is richer and sweeter because of me. I was created with purpose and intention. Humans may not have planned me or wanted me, BUT, the God of the universe does and did!
I may have been an outcast, but my suffering is not in vain. God has a plan and a purpose for me and my life! A plan for hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
The God of the universe planned me, wanted me and wants me, likes me, loves me, desires me, wants good things for me, made me with purpose, and will fulfill me.
There is a God ordained plan and purpose for my life! I must cling to this. It is so easy to be lost and caught up in the temporal reality of being unwanted from the beginning. I have found such comfort in knowing that God specifically called me to parenthood, it helps strengthen me when I question myself. I may not be aware of God's plan and intention for my creation, but that does not mean that it is not there. I must cling to Him and His plans for my life. This is the only way my life can and will be fulfilled.
Many are the plans in man's heart, but the purpose of the Lord Prevails. Proverbs 19:21
I am not greater than the creator and will not say to him that he knows nothing. Isiah 29:16
God's plans are far greater and far more achievable than my dreams will ever be! There is no way that Joseph ever dreamed that he would be second in command of Egypt.
Faithful, patient, prayerful endurance is the way through it all.
God's plans cannot be thwarted Job 42:2 and they will stand firm forever Psalm 33:11
God's sworn promise to me: "Surely as I have planned it, so it will be, and as I have purposed it, so it will stand" Isiah 14:24
I never intended to write about this. I found it to be a personal experience. But, recently, I was feeling moved to share it here on my blog. I know that there is someone out there that needs to hear this message! I am willing to visit with anyone who would like to know more about my story or who wants to share theirs with me. I know that there is a lot of pain and suffering out there. I just hope that you find this to be an encouragement as I did. One of my original intentions of this blog was to share openly things that we normally keep guarded. I know that no one's experiences are completely unique, we are going through the same things, just in different ways. If we can create an environment where we can share openly, they lose their power over us and we can bind together to encourage each other! Please feel free to share the post as well so that more may find comfort and encouragement in knowing that God is there, and He loves them with a love more powerful and unconditional than we are capable of understanding.
If this touched you in some way, please let me know :)
