Anticipation is building each day as I become one day closer to being a stay at home mom. This has been my goal since I found out I was pregnant. I knew that it would not be a reality initially, due to Greg's job situation. But I knew that it would work out. I knew this, because it was not my plan. I had my plan for my life, and it did not include being a stay at home mom. It was more of a career driven plan. Therefore, I knew that the burning desire that I had to be a stay at home mom could have only been a part of God's plan for my life, hence how I knew it would come to fruition. 

I struggled with not being able to stay home for a very long time both during the pregnancy and after Aiden was born. I had many periods of time where I would beg and plead with God to make this happen. Many evenings were spent in tears in the shower, again, begging and pleading for this to be a reality. It was during this time that I also struggled with how to pray and does God really want to hear the same thing over and over again? I figured, I don't like hearing the same thing over and over again, and He is the all knowing God, so surely He doesn't want to hear it over and over again. He knows the desires of my heart, after all, He's the one who put them there! As I struggled with this, I read somewhere that God wants us to be persistent. He wants us to come to him over and over again with the same topics. 

I am blessed that my prayers have been answered and I will soon get to experience the joys of full time motherhood, as well as the trials. I believe that God did not allow me to stay home initially because I wasn't ready for it, no matter how ready I thought I was. I think that had I always been able to stay home, I would have constantly been thinking about what it is like to be a working mom, and would have been trying to decide if I had made the correct decision. I'm sure I would have been filled with doubts of not being cut out for it. But, now that I have experienced being a working mom, I believe that I will be able to more fully appreciate the blessing of staying home. I hate it when Aiden is sick, but those have been my favorite days when I get to stay home with him. It just feels like all is right in the world and it has given me confirmation that I'm making the right choice for me and for my family. 

As far as I know, I came up with this saying on my own...but you never know what seeds may have been planted that caused me to think of it...so, if I should be giving credit to someone, please let me know.

"We are all just people, living life the best that we know how with the tools that we have."

This is a saying that I truly believe and try to remember. I remind myself of this at times when I find that I may be looking down on or judging someone. I think that it is easy for us to start to think that we are better than people, for many different reasons. I don't have to list the reasons, I'm sure a flood of them come to mind when you start to think about it.

One particular reason that stands out to me is treating people differently because they are poor. I have been working with some of the poorest people for the last 3 years, and the one thing that I know, is that they are people with hopes and dreams the same as you and I. They are living their life the best that the know how with the tools that they have available to them. I have spent my time and effort trying to improve their tools so that they can get closet to obtaining their goals, whatever that may be.

It seems that people who live in trailers get made fun of the most. I can think of several derogatory sayings that  are aimed at people living in trailers. I truly don't understand that. It is a home, a home that they can afford. Who are we to judge them for living within their means! And just because a person lives in a trailer does not mean that they are poor. Maybe it is just that having a fancy house doesn't align with their goals. Maybe they choose to have a less expensive home in order to achieve their other financial goals. We all make financial decisions every day, and not all of us have the same financial goals. Some people prefer a fancy home, some prefer a fancy car, some to be able to travel, some to be debt free.

My mom was very poor while I was a young child and we lived in a trailer. I felt the judgement of others and I was made very aware that we were "less" because of her income. Now looking back, how sad that a young child should feel this way and be aware of the judgments of other children and adults.  I was embarrassed of the clothes I had, the car she drove, and that we lived in a trailer. But, now looking back I am not embarrassed of these things, they are all in material and are very insignificant in the grand scheme of life. She did a good job of creating a nice home and providing the best she could with what she had, and ultimately is that what we are all doing, just on different scales?

Here's to remembering we are all just people, living life the best we know how with the tools that we have.