Anticipation is building each day as I become one day closer to being a stay at home mom. This has been my goal since I found out I was pregnant. I knew that it would not be a reality initially, due to Greg's job situation. But I knew that it would work out. I knew this, because it was not my plan. I had my plan for my life, and it did not include being a stay at home mom. It was more of a career driven plan. Therefore, I knew that the burning desire that I had to be a stay at home mom could have only been a part of God's plan for my life, hence how I knew it would come to fruition. 

I struggled with not being able to stay home for a very long time both during the pregnancy and after Aiden was born. I had many periods of time where I would beg and plead with God to make this happen. Many evenings were spent in tears in the shower, again, begging and pleading for this to be a reality. It was during this time that I also struggled with how to pray and does God really want to hear the same thing over and over again? I figured, I don't like hearing the same thing over and over again, and He is the all knowing God, so surely He doesn't want to hear it over and over again. He knows the desires of my heart, after all, He's the one who put them there! As I struggled with this, I read somewhere that God wants us to be persistent. He wants us to come to him over and over again with the same topics. 

I am blessed that my prayers have been answered and I will soon get to experience the joys of full time motherhood, as well as the trials. I believe that God did not allow me to stay home initially because I wasn't ready for it, no matter how ready I thought I was. I think that had I always been able to stay home, I would have constantly been thinking about what it is like to be a working mom, and would have been trying to decide if I had made the correct decision. I'm sure I would have been filled with doubts of not being cut out for it. But, now that I have experienced being a working mom, I believe that I will be able to more fully appreciate the blessing of staying home. I hate it when Aiden is sick, but those have been my favorite days when I get to stay home with him. It just feels like all is right in the world and it has given me confirmation that I'm making the right choice for me and for my family.